Rustr talz… “Euro-friendly language enlightens for simplicity”

By on November 14, 2011 with No Comments

It has been quite awhile since having penned anything in the ‘Tales’, so will take the easy way back into your website.  As most know, I’ve had complete knee surgery which has not exactly been a walk in the park.  Everybody has different rates of recovery and use, which for sure has been more than a royal pain for me.

I think I could have written several columns, but getting fatter and lazier by the day has made the keyboard show several signs of rust.  This article was sent to me by a former student in WI., a young man who certainly was our best high basketball player ever, despite having his cousin earn Mr. Basketball-honors from our same school program.  I mention this because I wanted to track down the author for notoriety before posting.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “S” will replace the soft “c”.. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20%shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “O” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

ZENK U FOR YUR ATENTION.
PS.  What will our own language look/sound like when we try to infuse Spanish, Arabic and Chinese?  Si~##:=___~<|\”–^^^*+=;  (see ya later!)

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Category: Rooster Tales

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